Drunken Vampires
by AngelSixSixSix
Summary: Bella's a Vampire know, so the Cullen kids are showing her some interesting Vampire fun. Will Bella party with them? And why is Emmett giving the animals that they hunt Vodka? And what's up with Jasper? Read and find out! Reviews would be nice too! Funny!
1. Chapter 1: Feeling Hot

**Okay, here's another disturbing/funny story. If possible start downloading Party Like A Rock Star for later chapters. It really adds to it well. The chapters are going to be short so I can stretch out the story. Hope everybody enjoys!**

**Love Always. Peace!**

**Ericaisdazzled**

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Rosalie, Alice, and I drove up to a cave in the middle of the woods to see Edward and Jasper laughing as Emmett was pouring a bottle of Vodka into a wooden trough. Next to him were several other bottles of the same substance.

"What the Hell are they doing?" I ask in a shocked tone.

"Bella, you know how Vampires can't get drunk from drinking?" Alice ask with a slight laughing edge in her voice.

"Yeah…" I answered.

"Well, this is how we can get drunk!" Rosalie cut in.

Rosalie and I have been on better terms since I've been turned into a Vampire. Since it's done she probably realizes she should just get over it.

We've been such good friends lately, that she even took me lingerie shopping for Edward! If that's not friendship, than what is? She wouldn't even let Alice come!

Edward really enjoyed that night when we got back from Victoria's Secret. In other words: the house was rockin' so no one dared to come a knockin'. I will never forget that night for all of my existence. The way his body felt on mine. And those _lips_! Oh, how they were so eager and yet so-

"Bella!" Alice's voice brought me out of my trance. She was in a corner of the cave that we had driven to with Jasper stalking toward her with a seductive look on his face. Oops. I didn't even notice that we had gotten out of the car!

I immediately thought of the vile Mike Newton, making my feelings completely repulsive. Jasper than ran to the other side of the cave with a disgusted look on his face. Alice glared at me.

"Well you didn't have to make him look at me, his _wife_, like I'm Lauren Mallory!" Alice screeched at me.

"Sorry, Alice. I was just trying to make it so he wouldn't jump you like a female dog in heat." I said back seriously, trying not to laugh.

"Hey! It was your fault I was feeling that first emotion in the first place! What the Hell were you thinking about?!" Jasper yelled this time.

It's funny how when I was human, we would barely say hello, and now, we were like brother and sister. We even hugged sometimes.

"Well… Hey, you know what? Ask Edward. Edward, what do you think I was I thinking about?" I looked at Edward and he had a very seductive grin on his face.

"EDWARD! Come on people! Can't you control your emotions?!" Poor Jasper.

Edward came over and hugged me from behind, putting him arms around my waist and resting his chin on my shoulder.

"Sorry, Jasper. This is what happens when you get involved with a 107 year old virgin until recently. Very recently." I shivered when Edward talked. His breathe was blowing into my ear. Even after he talked and was just breathing, I continued to shiver with pleasure.

I finally looked over to see Jasper in the corner rocking back and forth, begging God for mercy.

This is going to be a very memorable hunting trip.

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**I hope you liked it! **

**Review! Could I get at least 5 please?**

**Also, be sure to check out my other stories. Most of which are also disturbing! And complete!**


	2. Author's Note: A Little More

**Readers,**

**I don't mean to nag, but I would really like at least 2 more reviews before I ****post the next chapter. More would be appreciated. **

**It will get better in the next chapter, I promise. It's like Isabella's Chat. It starts out ****slow and then it's like BAM!. **

**So, yeah, thank you to those that have reviewed already. You're awesome!**

**Love Always. PEACE!**

**Ericaisdazzled **


	3. Chapter 2: Why Would You Do That?

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**Well, here's the second chapter. I will get better, I'm just setting it up. Remember!: If possible, download Party Like A Rock Star, but I will also have it on my profile. Enjoy the chapter!**

**Love Always. PEACE!**

**Ericaisdazzled**

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"Okay, everyone, give poor Jasper a brake!" Alice shouted at everyone, but I could tell she was trying to hold back a smile.

Edward leaned his lips next to my ear and whispered so only I could hear, "Let's have a little fun with Alice now. Think of what you want to do to me next time we…, 'rock the house down'."

I shivered at seductive tone in his voice.

I thought, _what would I like to do to him_? Hmm…, I would like to chain him up to the bed. Naked. I want to turn on I Never Told You What I Would Do For A Living by My Chemical Romance and then dance dirty all over him while wearing lingerie. I'm just going to tease the shit out of him, so bad th-

"Bella, please stop! Oh my poor eyes, my poor brain! It's about to fry!" Alice cried out suddenly.

While I was deep in thought, I hadn't noticed that Edward moved from behind me to in front of me.

In eyes full of lust he said, "God Bella, why didn't you do that sooner?"

"I just thought of it…" I was cut off by him kissing my lips hard.

"Okay, you to have had your fun. Break it up," Rose called everybody to order.

After a silence and occasionally a late chuckle for the situation, I ask, "So how are you going to get drunk by drinking out of an animal's food trough?"

That earned a small chuckle from everybody. Geez, pick on the new Vampire.

"Bella, _we_ don't drink it, the animals do!" Emmett exclaimed.

"So let me get this straight: You give it to the animals to drink, then you drink the animals, then you get drunk?"

"Yep!" Edward, Jasper, and Emmett shouted in unison. Edward's turn for a little joke.

How could you do that Edward! I thought you were a gentlemen, not a drunk up hooker!" I wailed and Edward looked shocked.

"Bella, Bella! I'm sorry! It's just for fun!" He said in a panicky tone.

I think Alice had a vision or something, because then she shouted out, "And you Jasper! How could you let me do this?! So you can knock me up?!"

We looked at Rosalie and waited for her to say something.

"What? I'm perfectly fine with the whole situation." Rosalie said.

Alice and I glared at her like she was some gay guy from Barney. Emmett just grinned and muttered something like 'that's my wife'.

"Bella, if you don't want to than I won't." That sounding like it was hard for him to say.

"I won't anymore either Alice," Jasper said also sounding like it was hard.

Maybe they should stop. It's like their addicted.

I could just picture them in a rehab center, "Hi, I'm Edward and this is Jasper. We are Blo-alcoholics."

That would be interesting.

"What do you think Bella, should we promise to never drink again for the rest of eternity?" Alice ask.

Hmm…

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**REVIEW! I would like 5!**

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